Debate, Competition, Adversaries, and Allies

The topic of competition often comes up in dialogues about the food industry, any line of work actually, and more times than not, the dialogues can get heated. The art of debate seems to be fading away like a dream of an infant, quickly forgotten and hardly ever understood. I blame the years we, as a nation, spent under "mission accomplished" Bush as President, as he created the whole binary speak about patriotism. He helped the nation buy-in to the idea of "you are either with us or against us" type of confrontational speak that lead to this type of rational in many other areas.

Debate has a purpose that is not adversarial but rather designed to explore the topic at hand, amicably. A proper debate leaves the participating parties and the audience with a greater understanding of the subject explored. Nothing is black or white, all good or all evil, the world is a wash in tons of shades and colors. We more often learn more from our mistakes than our successes and allowing your opinions to change with additional information is an invaluable situation be to placed.

Sometimes this type of scenario can be present in personal relationships. I have witnessed groups of ladies where one member feels the need to compete with her peers, often to the destruction of the friendships, but the reality is the only competition that one truly has is against themselves. I strive to be better today than I was yesterday. I am one that will uplift my peers instead of tear them down. I have been known to go out of my way to lend a helping hand and would like to think that others who can will do the same for me when needed.

Within the food industry you may find yourself in the employ of owners that are overly protective of their customers, contacts, marketing schemes, or recipes, as if an employee is seeking out to steal them. This type of thinking is not healthy. It takes nothing to give others information or answers that will set them up to succeed even after they have exhausted the relationship with you or your organization. Instead we see the crabs in the barrel mentality when the reality is that there is more work out here in the marketplace that no one will ever be out of work for long if they have the skills. I can tell you how to to something or point you in the right direction but that doesn't guarantee that you will be able to get the same results that I have gotten.

Everything is situational....   (yes, I do know that this isn't really a word). I don't mind sharing recipes with people online or in person because many people that request the information will not make the efforts to produce the item, and they usually ask me to make it for them. I mentor and teach kids who like to cook and perhaps I will be able to start the next successful chef-in-training on the right path to excellence.

I have worked for folks who were victims of this mentality and they are usually toxic to everyone around them. It's easy to spot them in a employment situation as they are constantly seeking to horde all the information and control everything the employees do. This type of person tries to never fully explain the situation or decisions and is always very guarded. The rationale behind this behavior is to make themselves feel important by force, so to speak. No one can do any work unless they go through so-and-so, can't make a single decision, can't move on to the next thing, or use their own ideas, unless you get approval.  Too often this creates a false dependence upon another person and can be a fear reaction of the person who is exhorting control, afraid that the employee will run away with their business, do a better job than they could do, or get promoted ahead of them.

Most people can mistake their allies as adversaries due to a lack of vision. It's like the cheating spouse who constantly knows they are being cheated on, even without evidence, because they believe everyone is just as dishonest as their actions. I'm not one who adopts this thinking. If we are colleagues or friends, I am sure that there is something that makes you special and usually it is different than what makes me special.

Allies share, trade, and support each others efforts especially when the goals of both are the same. Two nations will become allies because they have mutual needs. They trade materials such as nation 1 is a great producer of wheat but nation 2 doesn't have the land type to grow wheat, so a pact is made to trade the wheat for nation 2's spices. The same can happen between to companies, two people, or two families. As a pastry chef, I have a few caterers that will call me to produce the sweets the client is asking to be made for their event, for example. The caterer has an expanded list of options that the client can chose from, the client doesn't have to search for these options with an additional company, and both the caterer and I will profit from the clients order, mutually beneficial.

Confidence in one's ability, self-confidence, honesty about you own knowledge and skills, understanding the limit of your own ability and where it can be improved, and having a centered humble spirit can be more valuable than all the money or influence in the world. It takes a certain type of humility that allows you to be in a position to both help others and be helped at the same time. No matter how much I learn or how advanced my skills become I remain humble because I have worked with and met some giants in my industry and I fully understand that there are some with skills that make mine look like a crayon coloring book drawings next to a museum quality painting.

In my opinion, seeing everyone else as your competition or adversary is a big red flag that this person is struggling with some deep identity issues. The need to always be in the spotlight, to control every thing and everyone, to dismiss people willing to help you or support you because you can't imagine that they are being honestly genuine, and always thinking of your needs as more important than anyone else's, are personality flaws that are not uncommon within the chef world. I also believe that the idea of celebrity chef is drawing more and more of people with these personas, who feel the need to prove their self-importance plate by plate.

The chef personality type is large and crazy but the real stars are those among us that are firmly rooted in reality while constantly reaching skyward to shine among the stars. You can shine as bright as the sun without trying to diminish someone else's light, in fact, lending your light to others doesn't reduce yours but in fact increases the light from you both.